molting

I will try my best to make this post less suicidal than the previous one. But hey, I'm in a better mood so I guess I'm off for a good start.

Holiday has almost ended for me, as tomorrow I will fly back to Melbourne and continue my university life once again, doing summer subject which I do think I will not regret taking. Compared to the holiday I had before during winter break, I do personally think that this one has been a whole lot better.

I learned how to swim. A skill that I suppose I should have learned years ago, but I guess: better late than nothing. I have to be honest that I didn't expect that I will enjoy it as much as I do now. You should have known that I am sucks at most sports, so for me this whole swimming lesson thing, at first, was a big deal. I had to go through some frustration being unable to float in the water, though perhaps a bit of persistence kept me going and tadaaa, now I proudly announce that: I CAN SWIM.

This one month plus holiday also got me thinking a lot concerning my future. I know that at some points I felt like the pressure was just too much to handle. If you actually read my previous post, you might have realized that I haven't found the thing I want to do for a living yet. I need to make a decision real soon, and I really wish that I make it right.

Some people said that I should just follow my heart and not actually over-think it. Some others said that I should ask myself what my dream actually is and plan my life based on that dream.

Well I have one, though if I told you it might sounded very childish.

One of the reasons why I love going back to my country, other than the food and the fact that my parents are here, is the people. Yes. The people. I might sound corny in the next few sentences and you might start wondering whether I am just, losing my mind, or not, but: somehow I still care for them and wish I can do something for them. The thing is that the 'me' now has no power nor wisdom whatsoever to actually do something. Why, you ask? Why bother?

As I was writing this, I started to ponder and tried to find a definite reason why. But I could not. Maybe simply because there is no logic in it and there should not be. They fascinate me, that is all.

And so, if I have to start paving my path for my future life, I keep wondering if I should really take this matter into concern. I need to dig deep down and make sure that this is a strong enough reason to keep me going on.

Though one thing that I can be sure of, for now, is that I need to change anyway. Keep working out on my flaws, going through the hardship to learn new things, and I believe, to actually move on and brace myself with all the changes.

As tomorrow I'll be leaving my hometown once again, 'moving on' back to Melbourne, I can only believe that this is the way I will be transformed into something better. In a few months, as I return back here, I need to be sure that I can picture and plan my future a whole lot better.

We pray and have a little faith.

I guess this is quite a long entry, and I have to admit that it is kinda nice, pouring all the thoughts and share it to whoever want to waste their minutes reading it. I guess I am tired of keeping all things myself.

Meanwhile, happy 2012 and I hope all of us are ready for a new start.