a confused fox chasing its own tail

It's not nice because it's hot. And no one is here.

That, apart from me having a jet lag and emotion drift which I don't know how long it will last before I start to adapt once again. And let another cycle runs.

I managed myself, restless after a more or less 12 hours journey, setting the troubling thoughts aside for a moment. I woke up a couple of hours later to find out that I really have stranded myself in this continent again. The thoughts crept back in and nearly got over me. Suffocating, I dragged my body out of bed, taking a quick shower and went out to do what I had to do: buying a lecture note and food for me to survive the night.


I wonder why some people I met seem to be very much fine after all the journey. I wonder if they actually felt the same way or is it just me being really... emotional.

I remembered it vaguely that this also happened to me around 6 months ago, though I think this is a bit much worse. The feelings, did become less intense as day passed, as I slowly merged myself with routines. I could only hope the same thing will happen this time, because this is not very much fun.

One of my new year resolution is however, to be more optimistic and positive. It has only been two days and these kind of things already got me down. I know I should not complain much and just take it easy, but still, I don't want to take things too lightly that I end up regretting later.

'Galau' describes me well, I suppose.

On a brighter note, I think I have convinced myself with an important decision. A reason that keeps me going, a goal perhaps. A rather fixed plan for the future.

Then I realized that only by moving on to here, I am allowed to learn new things, experience more, and make silly mistakes. It does not feel good, but I supposed I have to.

I am rather excited to see what is going to happen if I manage to pull myself and boldly let out the crazy idea that I still have in my mind right now, in another definition: making a break-through.

I supposed this is a good start.

Sorry for another structure-less post. My mind loves to jump from one topic to another.


I'm kinda sad that she had to resign from the band to pursue, in my opinion, 'a more promising' career. But hey, it may be the best decision she could make at that time.

Oh, one thing I nearly forgot. I have a plan to actually make a new blog where I can post some random stuff, but this time I will write it in bahasa. I don't want to mix them up here and I thought that I would actually just make a new blog for it. I haven't thought up a name yet, but let's hope it will be up as soon as possible :)