erratic us

i just realize that i am an effing weirdo, no, i know that since long ago, but i officially admit tonight that i am.

it is, however, not that bad. being very much different from other people, i never quite wish i was normal, or so... if someone can define me what 'normal' is anyway, raise your hand... i see... one, two, ten, many people who admit that they do, who admit they know what 'normal' is in the basis of common sense. a common sense that has become a set of rule, which we follow, blindly, if i must say.

conformity has never been my thing.

but then again, i must aware, jotting these things down could also mean that i am in a 'self-denial' state, and perhaps a bit of 'self-righteous' as well, or... 'self-knowing' if one would put it that way.

we are indeed, not only composed of one ego, but myriad of feelings, thoughts, senses, and not to be forgotten, the extravagance of chemical reactions right now happening inside our body, and few others i am very well conscious of that i have not mentioned... all of them constitute our body, varying us, one from another.

and so i am who... yes, the phrase would suit well for this purpose, but i would not state so since flaw there are in the words i am willing to say. a flaw meant not to be repeated, but learned from.